Sailing On A Sea of Pudding
by Kame-sama
Summary: Extreme nonsense ahead, Captain! From the universe of A Private Diary of Elizabeth Quatermain, this is a response to a challenge. This is a very improbable way to end the story of Elizabeth and the rest of the League.


"Sailing On A Sea of Pudding"

Author: Kame-sama (aka Noelle-chan)

Notes: This is from a challenge given by Lady Norbert for her contest "**_What would be the funniest, most improbable way for the "Private Diary of Elizabeth Quatermain" series to end?"_**

Elizabeth and Rodney were having a rather enjoyable day. It had started with a quiet breakfast all to themselves. After they had exhausted the supply of tea, both ventured out from their cabin to see what was going on with the other members of the League. As they emerged, the crewmen of the Nautilus were hurried in their pace from the norm. One bumped Elizabeth and he gave her a quick gesture for hitting her. "What's going on this morning? I haven't seen this much activity in a long time.", Elizabeth noted.

"I'm not sure love, but we'll find out from Nemo when we see him.", Skinner replied.

They made their way down the corridors and the activity of the crewmen was even more panicked. Two crewmen were holding two vials of a thick golden brown substance and speaking excitedly in Hindi. Rodney and Elizabeth glanced at each other, not sure what to make of what was happening. Reaching the map room, they found the entire League assembled. A hush entered the room as Rodney and Elizabeth did. Tom Sawyer made a nervous gulp and Mina held a finger to Henry's lips. Feeling the uncomfortable vibe, Elizabeth dared to speak first, "What's going on? Everyone from the crew is running around."

The captain stepped forward, trying to find a way to break the news of the current crisis. "A terrible thing has happened. It's really quite odd, and my men cannot seem to explain the phenomenon at hand. You see, the water of the sea…"

"Yes?", Rodney said when Nemo trailed off.

"Well, the water is no longer water and the ship is unable to move any further.", Nemo said with hesitation.

Elizabeth blinked her eyes a few times trying to comprehend what was just said. "If the sea is no longer water, what is it?", questioned Elizabeth.

"Mrs. Jekyll and my crewmen have run tests and they have determined the composition of the sea is now….pudding.", said Nemo.

"Pudding? What in the bloody hell? Are you serious?" after a few uncomfortable seconds Rodney asked.

Dr. Jekyll stepped forward and added, "Yes, it's not only pudding, it's _butter scotch_ pudding".

"Dear Lord, not _butter scotch _pudding!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"Yes, I'm afraid so" Mina said leaning on her husband for support.

"The reason we didn't disturb you prior to this, is because we knew that you'd be our only hope. You needed to spend the last few moments with your husband in happiness. We've managed to get the Nautilus to almost a depth of 30ft below the surface of the pudding. The engines have become non operational now, so the only way to reach the top is by…eating a tunnel", Nemo said gravely.

Rodney gulped and knew where this conversation was going, "You mean, you want my Bess to eat that tunnel?"

"She's our only hope, we heard of her accomplishments as a world champion pudding eater. Elizabeth is the only one with the fortitude to make it to the surface. The crewmen have determined that only one person can do that job because of the lack of stability of the pudding. That one person has to be you Elizabeth." Sawyer said.

"Yes, I am the woman for this job, since I am the only one to have won the medal for the Edinburgh Pudding Eating Contest three years in a row. But, it's _butter scotch _pudding, my nemesis." Said Elizabeth as Rodney squeezed her hand.

"Love, I won't make you do it, I know how you've talked about _butter scotch_. It's an evil loathsome pudding." Rodney said with tears starting to form.

Elizabeth steeled her resolve and replied after a few moments had passed, "Rodney, I must go. I may not return but I'm our only hope in everyone surviving. If I don't go, we're all doomed."

Nemo opened a velvet box to reveal a large silver spoon and handed it to Elizabeth.

"God speed, young lady, God speed" Jekyll said as Elizabeth accepted the spoon.

All stood silent as Elizabeth exited the room. She made her way to the topmost hatch exiting the Nautilus and had a sailor open it for her. Elizabeth Quatermain Skinner was ready to face her destiny as a world-class pudding eater against the horrid _butter scotch._


End file.
